Category Archives: Baby Guides

First time daddy – don’t panic!

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The first day you spend on your own with your child will be a very special one.
It is an opportunity for you both to get to know each other and to bond. When you are looking after your baby, you’ll get practice at handling him. Also, taking sole responsibility for your baby for during the afternoon or morning will be important in building your ongoing relationship with your partner. Here are a few points that will help to make the day easier and more relaxed (from personal experience).

Be prepared
Preparation is the key to a successful experience. You should make sure you are well equipped to deal with your first day alone by running through all the routines with your partner and having everything you’ll need to hand:

* Keep the changing mat, nappies, wipes and nappy sacks handy, so you don’t have to rummage through cupboards to find them (as I did).
* For feeding, have at least one or two bottles of breast or formula milk made up in the fridge ready to warm.
* Know where your baby’s clean clothes are kept as you may have to change him several times during the day.

After the door closes and your partner leaves you both to fend for yourselves, don’t panic – try to appreciate this time you can spend with your baby.

Try not to plan to do too much. Your baby’s needs will rule the day and any other jobs will have to be put aside until later; slow down, and try to take things at his pace. Make the most of playing with him. There are lots of things you can do together, even from a very young age. For example play ‘This Little Piggy’ with his toes – this will make him aware of his body and help him learn to control his movements. Be theatrical in your responses to him and always keep eye contact, he will love to look at your face and its expressions. Give him differently textured toys to touch and name his toys and objects around the room. Hold him up under his armpits while he balances on his feet – this will help to strengthen his leg muscles.

Why is my baby crying and how can I comfort him?
All babies cry and some cry more than others. Crying is a baby’s way of communicating with you, all you have to do is work out what it is your little one is trying to tell you. Go through a checklist of possible causes: is he hungry, thirsty or tired? Is his nappy full, has he got wind, is he too hot or cold or does he just want a cuddle? Always respond to your baby’s cries as promptly as possible. If your baby seems unwell, give him a quick check over to see if it is anything serious, and if you are in any doubt at all, call your GP or health visitor. If the crying becomes unbearable, try taking him for a walk because this often helps.

If he is hungry or thirsty…
If your partner is breastfeeding, she can express milk for you to use. If you are bottle-feeding be sure to following the instructions on the box. Never be tempted to put extra formula in the bottle because it will cause your baby to dehydrate. Use boiled then cooled water and sterilized bottles. If you take a ready-made-up bottle straight from the fridge, place it in a bowl of hot water for a few minutes to warm it up. Make sure this is well away from baby. Test a couple of drops on your wrist. It’s ready when it feels tepid. Sit down in a comfortable position, cuddle your baby close to you so he can look at your face; he should be semi-upright so he can breathe and swallow easily. Keep eye contact and let him draw the teat into his mouth, keeping the bottle tilted so he can suck the milk rather than air. Be patient and don’t force him to feed if he doesn’t want it. He will let you know when he’s had enough or wants a break. When he has finished, wind him by sitting him on your knee or putting him over your shoulder and gently rubbing his back.

If he is tired…
Cuddle him and sing to him in a soft voice (don’t worry about how bad your singing voice is – nobody else is around). Hold your baby, against your bare skin so he will get to know your smell and feel comforted by your familiar presence. You could also try putting on some soft music to lull him to sleep. He will not be bothered about how light or dark it is, and will drift into a light sleep for about 20 minutes before falling soundly asleep.

Changing his nappy
This will need to be done frequently (unfortunately): first thing in the morning, after every feed and before your baby goes to sleep at night. Lay him on his changing mat then undo his clothing and his nappy. Remove the nappy and put it into a nappy sack. Holding his feet together in one hand, lift his legs up and use nappy wipes or moistened cotton wool balls to wipe from front to back, using a fresh wipe each time, until his bottom is clean. Take care to clean all the creases at the tops of his legs, but do not clean inside a girl’s labia or under a boy’s foreskin. Get a clean nappy and place under his bottom and lie him back down. Pull the front of the nappy up and fasten it at the sides with sticky tapes.

If you have problems keeping your baby still, provide a distraction: a mobile, a rattle or small toy to hold – babies love to look at themselves in mirrors.

Bathing
If you are on your own just for a day, you can get away with simply ‘topping and tailing’ your baby. This means using pieces of cotton wool dipped in cooled, boiled water, then squeezed dry to wipe his eyes (from inside outwards), behind his ears, over his face and around his neck. Clean his hands, arms, body and legs the same way, always using a new ball of cotton wool each time. Wipe around his bottom downwards and away from his body. Keep talking to him as you wash him and try to make it fun. Wrap him in the towel, patting him dry, taking care to dry all his skin creases. Pop him in a clean nappy and put his clothes on.

Things to do together
Your baby loves rocking movement, so put on a front sling, if he is quite small, and take him out for a walk, otherwise use a buggy or pram. The fresh air will tire him out – and probably you, plus there will be plenty of interesting things to look at and listen to. Make sure your baby is wearing one more layer than you would normally wear to make sure that he is warm enough.

Baby massage classes are a fun activity that both fathers and babies can enjoy. Also, once he has reasonable head control and is able to maintain his body temperature (at approximately 8 to 12 weeks of age), you can take your baby swimming; many babies love splashing around in water as long as it is warm enough and you are watchful at all times.

Talk to him as much as possible – your baby will recognise your voice from when he was in the womb and will associate its sound with security and affection. You can help your child’s mind develop by reading to him. He will follow the tones and rhythm of your voice and will enjoy listening to what you are saying.

Spending time with your baby is enjoyable for you both and giving your partner a break will always be appreciated. So send your partner off for a day out, to visit friends or just for a coffee in town, safe in the knowledge that you are perfectly equipped to look after your baby.

Your baby – at 1 year old

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It’s your baby’s 1st birthday, and just think how far he has come in those past 12 months. This is an exciting stage when your little one makes the big step from baby to toddler.

Baby’s first steps
One of the major milestones when leaving the baby stage behind is walking. Most babies start to walk between the ages of 10 and 18 months – so if your baby’s still not on two feet by then have a word with your GP.

They are many things you can do to encourage your child in taking their first steps. Watch Gurgle.com’s video on how to help your baby learn to walk.

Step by step
Step one to walking is when your baby takes his weight on his legs and bounces on your lap with your support (this can happen any time from five months onwards). He’s strengthening his muscles and getting ready for the off.

The next stage is pulling himself up to a standing position.
After that comes ‘cruising’ – moving around holding onto furniture for balance. Then some babies let go tentatively and practise their balance for a while before taking the first step. Others may simply let go and charge. These early steps will be unsteady – and even when he gets going your baby’s first real toddle will be a waddle, with feet turned out and his nappy-bottom swaying. From now on he’ll get more and more skilful and his walk more fluid.

How you can help
* Give him as much time out of the pushchair or car seat. He needs practice.
* Make the house safe so you can give his attempts free rein – and remember there will be many tumbles before he’s proficient at walking.
* Keep him barefoot – shoes aren’t necessary until he’s walking confidently alone – they can be clumsy.
* Give him confidence by holding his hands and walking behind him.
* Get him a pushalong truck to hold and walk with – keep it well away from steps and other dangers.

All in his head
Your baby’s new found mobility and strength are giving him the tools to become more knowledgeable about the world around him – for example, the difference between dry and wet (bath-time), warm and cold (meal times). He can also work out ‘cause and effect’ – for example, bang a drum and it produces a loud noise. And he’s beginning to match objects to the task in hand, such as a nappy goes on his bottom and a flannel is used to wash his face – all important for later on when he starts trying to match spoken words to the relevant object.

By 12 months, his fear of strangers is quite strong and you’ll notice him being clingier with you around people he doesn’t know. He’ll also be much more able to express his emotions (for example, anger or frustration if you take away his favourite toy) and he’ll understand that ‘no’ means ‘no’ even if he chooses to ignore it :-)

MMR
At about 13 months your baby will get called for his first MMR jab (he’ll get a booster between the ages of 3 and 5). MMR stands for measles, mumps and rubella (German measles) and protects your baby from these three illnesses, all of which are highly infectious and easily spread. Measles and mumps can be serious (occasionally measles can even kill). German measles won’t make your child too ill, but if caught by a woman during early pregnancy will seriously harm her unborn baby. So it’s important to make sure your child is immune and can’t pass rubella on to a pregnant mum.

Occasionally there may be side-effects from the MMR jab. · Between six and 10 days after the jab, when the measles vaccine kicks in, your child may have a slight rash and a fever Very rarely – at about 21 days after the jab, when the mumps element kicks in – a child may have swollen glands and a temperature. If your child gets a rash of what looks like small bruises any time in the six weeks after the jab, get your doctor to check it out.

The supposed link between autism and the MMR jab which frightened many mums 10 years ago has now been dismissed by most experts. If you are concerned in any way, though, do discuss it with your GP. Don’t forget! Just after his first birthday your baby will be due a booster jab for Meningitis C and Hib. For more information on immunisations see www.immunisation.nhs.uk.

Dream babies

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You may have heared about ‘dream’ babies, who sleep like an angel and only wake up to feed before drifting off again. Some new babies do this, but the norm is something quite different.

As a result, after giving birth you will have far less sleep than you are used to. It is quite likely that after the first few days you will be up all hours, pacing the room, rocking, jiggling, dancing in time to music – anything to get your new baby to settle to sleep.

Do not panic. This sort of behaviour is perfectly normal and by the time your baby is 3 months old, it will probably be settled and sleeping mainly at night, although still waking for feeds. ‘Adjusting to life outside the warm comforts of the womb he has known all his life inevitably takes time,’ says Lisa Crampton, Owner of Eventium, the organisation which offers style tips for new mums, ‘Most babies settle by the time they are 6 months old, or earlier.’

But first you have to survive those first turbulent weeks. The two main points to remember are:

Sleep when the baby sleeps – try not to rush around too much. Most babies sleep best during the morning, becoming more and more fractious towards evening, so try and schedule visits from doting relations and friends in the afternoon.
Help your baby to learn the difference between night and day. Babies are not born with a proper internal clock. When he wakes for feeds in the day, take time to play with him, show him brightly coloured toys, and talk gently to him. When he wakes at night, try to be silent. Unless he has a dirty nappy, there is no need to change him – keep all actions to an absolute minimum and keep the room dark.
The safest place for your baby to sleep is in a cot in your room for the first 6 months. Do not share a bed with your baby if you are a smoker, have been drinking alcohol or are taking drugs of any kind. Studies have suggested that it is best not to have your baby sleeping in your bed, although, it is fine to bring your baby into bed for a cuddle or a feed.

If your baby is particularly restless and fitful, especially during the early evening and early part of the night, then he may have colic. Babies with colic may suddenly start drawing up their legs, wriggling as if in extreme discomfort, and cry – sometimes for what seems like a long time. It is believed that colic could be caused by your baby’s immature digestive system, which is unable to cope with this new way of getting food – through the mouth rather than via the umbilical cord. Colic usually affects the baby in the evening and at night – just when you are on your last legs – but try to make sure that the baby is winded properly after feeding to minimise the problem from occurring. Most colicky babies have settled by 3 months old.

For more information and advice, talk to your health visitor or visit your local sleep clinic, which is usually run through the health visiting system at your local GP surgery.

The first few months can be very tiring for new parents, but remember that most babies will be sleeping through the night and only waking for feeds by 3 months old. Sleep when you can to keep your energy levels up, and enjoy this time with your new baby as you get to know each other.

Single parenting

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Bringing up a child on your own is rewarding for both you and your child. It can sometimes be hard work not having a partner on hand to help out, but with a good support network of friends and family around you, and by making full use of the numerous support groups available, you can bring up a happy, well-adjusted child.

There are lots of parents in the same situation as you in the UK – about 1.7 million according to Gingerbread, the largest support organization for single parents. About 10% of single parents are lone fathers.

There are many positive aspects to lone parenting. As you will be spending lots of time with your child, you will become very close. If you’re lucky enough to live close to other members of your family and they are willing to lend a hand, you will have lots of help and support. The main thing to remember is that you are more than able to provide your baby with a loving environment in which to flourish. If your family are far away or unable to support you in practical ways then it will be important for you to get the support of your friends and, perhaps, their families.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help
It can be quite easy to become overtired if you are the sole carer, so make sure you get a break as often as you can. Ask a friend to baby-sit, or try to meet other parents with whom you can rotate childminding stints. Your local council may run a subsidized nursery. Accept any offers of help from relatives or friends, and make sure you get enough sleep. If you are working full-time, you will find that childcare is expensive, so it may be worth joining together with other parents to share a childminder or nanny.

Financial implications
Make sure that you are receiving all the financial benefits you are entitled to – you may find that managing on just one or even no salary is hard going. Contact your local DSS office for advice on benefits.

Try to sort out financial arrangements with your ex-partner in an amicable way. If you need any help or advice on child maintenance payments, be sure to contact the Child Support Agency (CSA).

Housing
If you are getting divorced from your partner, both husband and wife have the right to live in the matrimonial home, no matter who owns it, until the divorce is finalized. Also, after separation, you may be granted the right to stay in the home for a period of time. However, once you are divorced, the non-owner will generally lose any rights to live in the house. If you aren’t married but living together, you have no rights to live in the house if you do not own it jointly with your partner.

Your local council is obliged to help you if you are a single parent and are unintentionally homeless. They use a points system based on your circumstances to determine your eligibility: the more points you have, the sooner you will be given somewhere to live, although the waiting lists are generally long for everyone. For further information, contact your local Housing Department. You could also try your local Housing Association for more affordable accommodation.

Information for fathers
There’s not much difference between being a single mum or a single dad, in terms of what you can and can’t do, except, of course, for breastfeeding. However, it is worth sorting out your rights as a dad if you and your partner are unmarried and you are applying for parental responsibility. You will then have virtually the same rights in bringing up the child as a married father would.

Parental responsibility is automatic for married parents, even if divorced, and also for single mothers. If you are not married you can obtain parental responsibility by registering a legally binding written agreement, subject to the mother’s consent. If the mother refuses her consent then an unmarried father can seek parental responsibility by making an application to the Court.

Getting along with your ex partner
If you are becoming a lone parent because you are breaking up with, or divorcing your partner, it can be a highly emotional event. This can make it hard for everyone to act rationally and in the best interest of the child. Try to distance yourself from your anger and hurt to realize that a calm approach to the problem is the best way forward for you and your child.

Many men want to remain actively involved in their child’s life after a break-up. It is important that your child maintains contact with both parents, to ensure his emotional bond. When talking about or to your ex-partner in front of your child, take care not to criticize each other. Also, try not to get to the situation where your child idolizes one parent. You are both the child’s parents and have a duty to your child to act responsibly.

The parent who lives with the child may resent the other parent not contacting them regularly or not sharing the care of the child, while the other parent may feel at the mercy of the residential parent and having to fit in with their plans. Keep the channels of communications open and try to put your differences aside and put your child first.

If at all possible, try to spend some time together with your child, and continue to keep in contact with grandparents and aunts and uncles on both sides. There’s no reason why your child should be deprived of any relationships with his family.

If you are sharing the responsibility of bringing up your child, it is a good idea to:

* Visit your child as regularly as possible
* Telephone, write or leave answer phone messages for him
* Respect the fact that the child has two separate homes now. Try and make sure you have enough clothes and toys at your house so it feels like a second home and he doesn’t feel like a guest
* Try not to interfere with the child’s relationship with the other parent
* Try to find ways to manage any negative feelings of anger, vindictiveness or bitterness without taking it out on your child
* It is a good idea to maintain a consistent pattern of behaviour and stick to rules that apply in both your households.
* Always try and fulfil any promises you make to your child, or try to give good warning of anything you can’t do.

Widowed
After the death of a partner, life can seem an uphill struggle. It is difficult coping with your own grief while maintaining a positive attitude in front of your child. Try to understand the loss from the child’s perspective and ensure that the absent parent is spoken of often and with love. Accept all help that is offered by friends and family. There are groups locally for bereavement, which will offer support and enable you to meet other parents who are in a similar situation.

Remember you have a life too!
Try to balance your time spent with your child with some time for yourself – if you are happy, your child will be more likely to be contented too. If you can, get a baby sitter or leave your child with relatives for an evening, so that you can keep your social life alive. Going out and meeting your friends is very important for all parents.

Why have a christening?

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If you would like your child to be brought up as a Christian, then a christening is the first step.

However, these days, faith is not always the only motivation. A christening is also a great way to get the whole family together to celebrate your new arrival. Being a member of a church could also help your child get a place at the excellent local church school further down the line.

While some clergy are quite relaxed about the parents’ own church attendance, others will expect to see you and your child on a regular basis before and after the christening.

Is there an alternative?
A christening calls for your child to believe in Jesus and to repent any sins. However, an increasing number of parents – and clergy themselves – question how a baby can possibly understand and, therefore, commit to this. As an alternative, your little one can be blessed and thanks can be given for his safe arrival into the world, without you making any promises on his behalf. A christening can then be held when your child is older and more able to understand what baptism involves.

If you are unsure what to do, talk to friends who have gone down either route and seek advice from your local church.

Booking the service
Once you have decided to have a christening, the first step is to talk to your local vicar. You will need to find out whether a special service needs to be arranged or whether the christening will be part of a main Sunday service. Some churches may ask few questions apart from which day you’d like the ceremony on and the names of the godparents, while others will want more details about your own faith, baptism and those of the godparents.

Choosing godparents
Traditionally, godparents were chosen for their own strong Christian beliefs, so that they could help guide the growing child in his faith. While this is still preferable in the eyes of the church, in reality, these days godparents are chosen more because they are close friends of the parents or are family members. However, for the sake of your child, it is worth taking time to choose a godparent carefully. If you are choosing friends, think about what role you would like them to play in your child’s life. Are they likely to still be friends of yours in 10 years time? Are they going to offer you and your child support if needed?

It is traditional for girls to have two godmothers and one godfather and boys to have two godfathers and one godmother, although it is up to you how many you have.

The christening gown
Both girls and boys traditionally wear a long white or cream christening gown. It’s wonderful if you have a family gown that has been passed down through the generations. If you don’t, you could either try to find one in a shop that sells vintage or antique clothing or buy one new. Many large department stores will sell appropriate clothes for christenings. Alternatively, try one of the many websites that sell everything related to christenings, from clothes to invitations and paper plates.

The service
If the christening is being held especially for you rather than as part of a main service, ask everybody to turn up at least 10 minutes before it’s due to begin. Yours may not be the only event at the church that day and the vicar will need to keep to schedule. Everyone will gather around the font, with the parents and godparents at the front. A service sheet will be handed out with the words the godparents need to say usually printed in bold. The whole christening should only take 20-30 minutes.

Remember that even in summer churches can be pretty cold, so make sure your baby is warmly dressed. It may also be wise to take a spare set of clothes in case of an accident.

After the service
You might want a small tea reception of sandwiches and cakes after the service. However, if friends and family are coming from far afield, it might be a good idea to offer something more substantial. Plan your menu so that most things can be cooked in advance and just heated up at the right time. Or, if you can splash out, consider caterers so that you don’t have to worry.

Don’t forget to invite the vicar as a way of saying thank you for the service!

For great christening gifts and ideas – visit www.primobambino.co.uk

Get your baby feeding contentedly!

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Breast milk is the perfect food for your baby, available on demand and at the right temperature. It has many great health benefits for you and your baby, but breastfeeding is a skill and takes a few weeks to feel both comfortable and confident with it.

What you may need:
Support bras x 3 during pregnancy (measuring required at intervals to check you have the right size)
Nursing bras x 2 (measuring required around 36+ weeks of pregnancy)
Sleep bras x 2
Bra pads
Muslin squares (to clean up baby’s dribbles after feeding)
Breastfeeding literature from midwife

You might find these useful too:
Breast pump
Support pillow
Lansinoh nipple cream
Breast Feeding Bliss – re-useable thermal gel packs (soothes mastitis, engorgement and blocked ducts)
A good book on breastfeeding e.g. Breastfeeding for Beginners, and theNational Childbirth Trust (NCT) book of breastfeeding – both available from the NCT 0870 112 1120
Good preparation

Don’t be afraid to ask for advice. During pregnancy, attend a local breastfeeding information class – your midwife will have the details – or contact your local NCT. Ask friends who have successfully breastfed, for their top tips. Check you are wearing the correct size support bra and get measured frequently during your pregnancy.

Buy your feeding bras in the last few weeks of pregnancy so you have the most comfortable fitting bra just after the birth of your baby. Remember to eat a healthy diet and to eat frequently as you need more calories during breastfeeding than pregnancy. Ask your midwife to help you position your baby correctly on the breast when you first start to feed.

Make sure you are sitting comfortably. Your baby’s tummy should face your tummy. You may need to use a pillow to support your baby.

When it’s right:
When your baby is latched on properly they will draw much of the areola (dark area around the nipple) into the mouth with their tongue. You should feel comfortable and your baby should be relaxed. Your baby’s chin will be touching your breast. You can hear soft swallowing………Keep going.

If it does not feel right, just start again and take your time, and don’t rush it. If necessary ask for help from your midwife or health visitor.

Find out more:
NCT breastfeeding helpline 0300 330 0771 (lines open 08:00 – 22:00 7 days a week)
Breastfeeding Network 0870 900 8787
Association of Breastfeeding Mothers 0870 401 7711

Having fun with baby

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The fun games you play with your baby during their first year are vital to stimulating their social, mental and physical development. It’s also great bonding, and fantastic fun for you both.

Newborn to 6 months – ideas:
• soft rattles – for squeezing and shaking
• cot mobile
• baby gym and play mat
• bouncing chair or baby bean bag
• cuddly toys
• soft fabric books
• rattles for chewing and holding
• soft cubes
• bath toys
• CD of music for babies
• indoor swing

At this age, babies are fascinated by faces – after just one day, a baby will prefer their mother’s face to that of a stranger. Tiny babies love to have ‘conversations’ – so copy his smiles, frowns and gestures and talk baby talk with him. Even though they can’t hold things yet, babies still enjoy watching you wiggle a teddy or a rattle for their entertainment. Look out for ‘cues’ that show that your baby is ready to play – e.g. face-to-face contact, reaching out hands, turning eyes or head towards you, smiling, babbling and cooing. Remember, babies of this age need lots of sleep and tire very easily.

From 4 months your baby will now be reaching out and grabbing things, and will be much more physical too, maybe starting to roll or sit. To help your baby become more ‘body aware’, play physical games such as gentle swooshing them into the air, or blowing raspberries on their tummy. Reading to your baby is very important – he or she will love hearing your voice, and over time will pick up language skills quicker and develop a love of books. At this stage babies can’t focus on two things at once – so give them a new toy and they will drop and forget the one they are playing with.

6 to 12 months baby ideas:
• baby mirror
• toy telephone
• baby books – fabric and board books
• building beakers for stacking
• door bouncer/jumper
• first jigsaw puzzle

Sorting and playing comes along tremendously as your baby has more control over their hand to eye coordination. Allow plenty of time for tummy play, rolling and crawling. From baby books to shape sorters – allow your baby to play with these toys one by one and find out how things work for themselves, with on hand help from you if needed. Intricate rattles with more parts, loops and textures can be really interesting to your baby now.

Consider toys for the pushchair, highchair and in the car, to help avoid your baby getting bored. Start bedtime stories from around 6 months (or before) – even if only short and sweet your baby will love the attention. Baby swimming, tumble tots or baby yoga might also be worth trying at this stage – ask your Health Visitor for details.

Recovering from birth

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Nothing can prepare you for the mind-blowing impact of having a baby. Your nether regions will be very sore, your breasts will be tender, huge and unfamiliar, and you’re likely to be very hormonal. The first weeks will be a strange, dreamlike twilight zone, where night and day merge into one, and you wander around in an exhausted but euphoric haze. You’ll never know tiredness like this again, but there will be days when you’ll be so bursting with love for your baby, you’ll cry.

Immediately after the birth:
If you gave birth in hospital, try to make the most of your time there to rest and learn about caring for your baby (especially if your first baby). The midwives will spend as much time with you as they can, helping you breastfeed and teaching you how to bathe the baby and change his nappy. But if you feel you’re not getting enough attention, it is very important to say so. A midwife will also visit you regularly at home over the next few days, so make the most of her experience and ask anything you need to ask.

For the 10% of mums whose baby is whisked away at birth and placed in the hospital’s Special Care Baby Unit (known as SCBU), this is a worrying time, as they know doctors think their baby needs special medical attention. There’s no doubt it can be scary to see your newborn wired up in an incubator, but don’t forget your emotions are likely to be all over the place, and they really are in the best possible hands.

Back home with baby:
Many mums spend a day or two in hospital after the birth, which means they get home just as their milk kicks in, the baby blues hit and everyone wants to come and visit. Try these coping tips:

1. Forget about housework and cooking, just sleep when you can (hard I know).
2. Remind yourself continually that this chaos won’t last.
3. Remind yourself that you need to rest to make milk for your baby.
4. Don’t get hung up on bathtimes. If your baby loves a bath (and dads are just as good at doing baths as mum) then great. If he really doesn’t like being bathed, just ‘top and tail’ (wash face and bottom) for a few days.
5. Don’t worry about daytime versus night-time clothes – your baby won’t know the difference. As long as he’s clean, he doesn’t need to be in a new outfit twice a day.
6. If your baby is fractious, experiment with different holding positions and – if that fails – hand him to someone else. Quite often a calmer pair of arms (and a body that doesn’t smell of breast milk) will settle him. If there’s no one else around, place him in his cot/Moses basket, check he’s safe, then walk away for a few minutes. Sometimes babies get over-stimulated and just want a bit of time on their own to cool off.
7. Don’t torture yourself by trying to remember how many times you were up during the night so you can play ‘competitive exhaustion’ with your partner or other mums.

Your post-birth body:
Having been through birth, your body will need time to recover. You’ll be bleeding quite heavily (even if you had a c-section), and your breasts will probably leak. Don’t expect to feel sexy! Your bedtime outfit will include: a sleep bra to hold breast pads in place; huge knickers stuffed with an industrial-size sanitary pad: and a big nightie to cover the whole lot up when you’re pacing the corridors all night. But rest assured, it will pass. Bleeding stops after about a month (sometimes much sooner), the leaky boobs will settle down once feeding gets into a rhythm, and eventually, your baby will adopt a sleeping routine which means you can spend most of the night in bed, ideally asleep!

Two weeks later:
After two weeks your midwife will discharge you and your partner will most likely go back to work. This can be a tough time, as sleep-deprivation will be building up, and that initial ‘I’ve had a baby!’ euphoria could be wearing off. A happy, snoozy baby may develop colic, and crying levels could significantly increase. Try these tips:

1. Make the most of your health visitor. She’s a specialist in baby problems and will have lots of solutions for you to try.

2. Make use of visitors. Ask them to cuddle the baby while you have a bath. You don’t have to run around after them, they should be looking after you!

Never turn down any offer of help. In fact, write a list of jobs and allocate them to anyone who asks.
If you’re beginning to feel as if everyone is interested in the baby and not you, say to yourself: ‘I grew this baby, I’m amazing, I matter’. And repeat it. Often.

Returning to the workplace

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Lots of women will find it refreshing to hear that life as you know it is not over when you have a baby :-)
A very high proportion of women return to work after giving birth and have highly successful careers!!!

Latest figures collected by Labour Market Trends show that two-thirds of women in employment while pregnant now return to work at the end of their maternity leave. Half of all mothers with pre-school children now work, with one-third working full-time and two-thirds working part-time.

All working women are entitled to maternity leave. There are two lengths of maternity leave depending on how long you have been working for your employer: Ordinary Maternity Leave (OML) and Additional Maternity Leave (AML). OML lasts for 26 weeks. It doesn’t matter how long you have been working for your employer or how many hours you work, all employees are entitled to OML from day one. AML lasts for 26 weeks and starts at the end of ordinary maternity leave. You are entitled to take AML if you have worked for your employer for 26 weeks by the 15th week before your baby is due.

When you decide to return to work, if you want to work part-time, or work as a job-share, you have the right to ask your employer. Legally, your employer must and will consider your request and cannot simply refuse without reason. Most working mothers of pre-school children work part-time, this is often a good compromise between being at home and working full-time.

Breastfeeding and returning to work?
Expressing breast milk is a useful skill to learn, especially if you anticipate being away from your baby for more than a few hours in the first few months. It will mean forward planning and extra organisation on your part, but it does mean your baby can continue to have the benefits of breast milk.

To maintain your milk supply, feed your baby first thing in the morning and when you get home from work in the evening. Depending on your baby’s age and needs you may also need to express milk during the day. New developments in expressing products, including portable briefcase sized pumps with insulated bottles, mean that expressing at work is easy and convenient.

Coping with separation?
Some mothers find going back to work while their baby is still very young something of an ordeal. If you are finding it hard to make a decision about whether to go back to work or not, try to be clear about your situation, aims and objectives, bearing in mind that no decision is everlasting or unchangeable.

Childcare choices:-
Before you decide what sort of childcare will suit you best, go through all the options. If your parents are still young, they might like to get involved – it’s much much cheaper and often more reassuring if nanna is looking after your one and only (this was our preference). A few big employers, such as hospitals and government offices, offer workplace crèches, which are good value for money and have the added benefit of enabling you to pop down to see your child during your lunch break. Childminders and daycare nurseries are cheaper than nannies but may not offer your child one-to-one care, which you may feel your baby needs, particularly when so small.

Once you have decided what childcare arrangements you are going to use, you could spend time with the new carer before you have to leave for work so you get used to another person looking after your baby. You could leave the baby for an hour or so with the new carer while you go to get your hair cut, go shopping or pamper yourself by having a massage or a beauty treatment.

Above all, don’t feel guilty. Remember that few things in life are perfect, whether you stay at home full-time or go out to work. But many mothers do go out to work because they share the financial responsibility of running the home with their partner and for other reasons; social contact, mental stimulation, career and whether a woman wants to be with her children all the time. Many women find the whole subject confusing and fraught with anxiety. If you talk about your feelings with your partner or a trusted friend, things may become a little clearer so you can feel confident about your decision.

Parental leave:
The parents of every child born on or after 15 December 1999 can now take up to 13 weeks of unpaid leave per parent per child, up until the child’s fifth birthday. This can be taken to cover emergencies such as a child’s illness, a childminder’s illness, or a ‘luxury’ if you want to spend more time with your child. However, legally, you must give 21 days written notice before you plan to take parental leave.

Tips to become pregnant

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When you decide to have a baby, you want to get pregnant now. Being patient is okay until you actually switch into babymaking mode. Getting pregnant is not as easy as some believe, even if you do everything “right,” you still have only a 25% to 30% chance of conceiving in any given cycle.

To increase your chances, start taking folic acid now. You reduce your chances of giving birth to a baby with a neural tube defect (for example, anencephaly or spina bifida) by 50% to 70% if you start taking at least 0.4 mg of folic acid each day two to three months before you start trying to conceive.

Try to keep sex fun when you’re trying to conceive. Use rooms other than the bedroom or schedule your babymaking rendezvous for an odd time of day. The rationale? You won’t be able to keep up the babymaking pace for very long if sex starts feeling like a chore.

Don’t hop up and run to the bathroom right after you make love. Lying down for at least a few minutes (some fertility experts say five minutes) after intercourse increases the odds that the sperm will be able to keep their date with the awaiting egg and that you’ll win at baby roulette.

Make love often during your fertile period (the five days leading up to ovulation). If you’ve got the stamina to make love at least every 2 days, you will ensure that there’s a fresh shipment of sperm waiting in the fallopian tube at any given time. Of course, you can get too much of a good thing if your partner has a low sperm count, so if you’re aware of a pre-existing fertility problem, you’ll want to talk this issue over with a specialist.

Here’s a bit of sex-related trivia, just in case you and your partner are looking for a little inspiration:

Are you a coffee drinker? Time to give it up or switch to decaf! Caffeine is thought to restrict the growth of a developing baby by constricting blood vessels and reducing blood flow to the uterus. What’s more, a few studies have indicated that excessive consumption of caffeine (that is, more than three cups of drip coffee per day) may contribute to fertility problems. The jury is still out on this last point, however.

Are you or your partner regularly exposed to hazardous substances in the workplace? You may need to consider a job change or job modification before you start your family. Certain substances can affect both the quality of sperm and the development of the embryo.

Have you had your preconception checkup yet? Set up an appointment with your doctor to review your medical history and to talk about your plans to start trying to conceive. Are you currently taking any prescription or over-the-counter drugs? Be sure to ask your doctor if it’s safe for you to continue taking them once you start trying to conceive. If you aren’t already doing so, start keeping a menstrual calendar. Note the date when your period starts, the number of days it lasts, and anything else your doctor might want to know about. This information could prove helpful if you experience problems in conceiving. It can also prove invaluable in pinpointing the date of conception and consequently your due date. Try to book the last appointment of the day for your preconception checkup. That’s when your doctor or midwife is most likely to be able to take the time to answer your questions and address your concerns without feeling rushed to go on to the next patient.

Make your vaginal environment as sperm-friendly as possible. Avoid vaginal sprays and scented tampons (which can cause a pH imbalance in your vagina); artificial lubricants, vegetable oils, and glycerin (because they can kill off sperm); saliva (because saliva can also kill sperm); and douching (because it alters the normal acidity of the vagina; can cause vaginal infections and/or pelvic inflammatory disease; and may wash away the cervical mucus that is needed to transport the sperm).

If you are monitoring cervical mucus in an attempt to predict your most fertile days, do your checks before you shower or swim. These activities can affect both the quantity and quality of your cervical mucus.